Most often they move by running, communicate by screaming, can’t focus, don’t put the toys away, come into conflict with peers, and their behaviour raises the anxiety of teachers and finally the parents themselves. Sounds familiar? If you are the parent of a child with psychomotor hyperactivity, you probably know the basic principles of living in this reality. But do you also know what your child would like to tell you if he could express himself as an adult?
The sentences you are about to read are called the basic requests of a hyperactive child. This is the essence of the needs of children and a specific interpretation of effective parents’ behaviour. It is worth looking at them and trying to implement them in your everyday life.
1. Help me find out what will happen next, tomorrow, next month and next year
Every child needs a sense of order, but hyperactive children have a much greater need. Their inner world is chaotic and unpredictable, so you have to do everything to bring order to their lives. Planning must become a priority activity in your everyday home life. The more order there is in your schedule, the more ordered and calm is the world in his head.
2. Wait for me, give me a moment to think
The problem of focusing attention is a result of the chaos and disorder in the mind of a hyperactive child. So, it is important to notice the cause-and-effect relationships. Such deficits mean that the toddler doesn’t remember many things, he needs more time to think and combine the facts. You must remember that! Don’t demand from a hyperactive child to immediately get what you would normally expect. Give them time, be patient, give tips and a chance to draw conclusions by themselves.
3. I want to know right away if what I do is done right
Children with ADHD live in a sense of chaos and disorder. In addition, their behaviour and predispositions cause them to have problems at school and in their interaction with teachers. The dissonance between what they feel and what is socially desirable causes such a child to have a problem assessing what is right and what is wrong. Praising behaviour and showing the right path is extremely important in the therapeutic process. So, spare no praise and try to ensure the child knows what the right course of action at each stage of their implementation is.
4. Give me small tasks one at a time; the more there are, the more I get lost
A hyperactive child requires clearly defined rules and methods of action. Communication with such a toddler should, therefore, be unemotional and show just how a specific task to be performed. We already know that a child with ADHD has problems with focusing attention, especially when faced with complicated or complex tasks. Try to make the goals to be achieved small (and praised every time!), and also spread them out over time.
5. I can’t do it, I’m confused, show me the way
The role of a parent is also the role of a life mentor who indicates what is good, appropriate, what is allowed and what is not allowed. The transfer of skills and values is in our nature, and when raising a hyperactive child, it becomes our superpower, which we should not limit. Children living in mental chaos need our support much more often, so do not wait for negative messages. Show your willingness to help before your child falls into irritability or an emotional hole.
6. I know I can be tiring, but I get so much joy when I hear you love me
Although every child should be assured of parental love, the need for acceptance and understanding in hyperactive children is much stronger than in their non-hyperactive peers. Remember that such a child will face a lack of acceptance, misunderstanding and criticism all his life, so you need to arm them with a supply of positive emotions and the feeling of unconditional love that you have for them. This is one of your most important tasks!